It is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from the Dark Age of Technology. Yet even in its deathless state, the Excel file continues its eternal vigilance.
Until one tech-priest employee mistakenly copies thousands of lines of data several hundred times, somehow. Now this Excel file includes over 148 thousand lines of data, crashes constantly and cannot be opened even by the most robust of computers. Let it be known that bypassing the 65,535 line limit imposed by Excel's signed 32 bit notation is a terrible idea.
Praise the Omnissiah that our regular backups brought the Excel file back from the brink of death. Of course the lesson hasn't been learned and this department will continue to torture this accursed document.