I am not happy
I'm not happy one bit. And I don't care if I'm posting this to a bunch of strangers, but a lot of people seem to understand or relate more than a said family member.
I hate how respect works. I hate how, if I have something on my mind, I can't speak it because I have to show respect to the elder. I'm always holding my tongue and trying my best not to disrespect anyone, let's face it. I'm the biggest pushover and I fucking hate it.
I want to change so badly, but I don't know why I'm so afraid of the consequences.
There is so much more I want to rant about, but I can't remember off the top of my head. I have a lot more to say about my family though.
If I cry, I'm not weak, I just have emotions. Like the rest of us. But it wouldn't be apparent to you, because you just deal with everything internally.
Just because you've dealt with men, doesn't give you access to tell a young man how to be one. That's opening doors for manipulation and expecting me to cater to your needs or some shit like that. Stay in your fucking lane & mind your own business.