It's like wanting absolutely everything out of life at every moment. I don't hesitate when pain comes. I don't shy away. If there's a person I love, and I can bear pain to make them less hurt, I will do it. The greatest hurt I experience is when someone I care about is hurting. I will bend, break and fail if it means that my love is satisfied.
It's only in those very darkest moments that I will take a moment or two to tend to myself, to love myself as well. I have so much love, and I don't know why. I don't know why I care when other people can walk away, or why I give while getting nothing back. I don't understand it, but I don't mind, because I have love. Even when I am skewered and bleeding and on my back and alone, I can look up at the stars and think "what a beautiful universe". I may be wired wrong. I may be broken somewhere deep inside. I may be an evolutionary dead end. But I can enjoy the whole ride. Yes, my life is a mess in ways. It is complicated, and hard, and far more than most people would be willing to put up with, but for those moments that I feel like I have the whole world, it's worth it.
Sometimes the stars shine just for me. I love life, and all it entails. That's the essence of a person who really truly loves.
Post a Comment