I believe it went something like this:
STRENGTH is your ability to crush a tomato
DEXTERITY is your ability to dodge a tomato thrown at you
CONSTITUTION is your ability to eat a bad tomato
INTELLIGENCE is knowing a tomato is a fruit
WISDOM is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad
CHARISMA is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad.
Then someone replies
A tomato based fruit salad is simply salsa.
to which invariably someone replies:
"HEY GUYS, I FOUND THE BARD!"