Feel free to share your thoughts on any of the following items. But please please don’t correct my grammar/punctuation, becauseDISCLAIMER The following is highly controversial, and may prompt you to call me ‘Insensitive.' If you are easily offended by beliefs incompatible to your own, stop reading immediately. Also, this whole thing is kind of a joke, even though I’m being serious the whole way through.
SOCIALISM Completely inconsistent with all other natural processes in the universe. Equality is great, but not when hard work is undermined. This is not something that ought to be forced. Seriously, you have no idea how much this backwards way of thinking pisses me off.
FLIPPY HAIRIts kind of surprising to see that some of the folks I grew up with in middle school/ high school STILL have not grown out of the flippy hair stage. Most kids grow out of this at age 17 or 18. Then again its not that surprising, because these were the kids who tried so desperately to fit in no matter what the cost. These were the kids that would gladly sell their soul for $5 off at hot topic. Dying your hair black and covering one eye does not make you cool; it makes you a pussy. Grow up.
RELIGION (particularly that of a Hindu origin) Now is the time that your intelligence will be insulted. So please if you are easily offended, STOP reading this immediately. Assuming of course that people are actually reading this. Aside from the fact that religion has responsible for many, many wars and murders, lets run through a typical scenario that an average, Indian kid goes through growing up in a religious household. This may or may not relate to you, but I can relate to it in a couple ways.
You grow up in a moderate or strict religious household, be it Hindu, protestant, jewish, or muslim, to an extent it doesn’t matter which one. You become a teenager and gradually begin to see the world through your own eyes (hopefully), in the same way that you would remove training wheels from a bicycle. This might include rebelling against your parents and rejecting the religion you were brought up with, but you come crawling back to it whenever you want something really bad. High school comes along, and you finally get what you’ve always wanted. It could be getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, or just feeling that you are apart of something. Thanks be to god, you are reunited with your religion once again.
You leave home for college and broaden your horizons, learning about science, mathematics, world history, and whatever.To state the obvious, at least some of the material you learn contradicts your own religious beliefs (evolution, the big bang, etc). Your still clinging on to it, but now your facing a dilemma: which one to choose- science, or your religion? The answer is simple: you choose both. Neither philosophies specifically say anywhere that you can’t force/glue them together. The bible/torah/koran/vedas doesn’t say anywhere that dinosaurs didn’t exist. And even though the world was created in 7 days doesn’t mean that none of what you learned didn’t happen. Gods years must be much longer than our years. Now you’re satisfied. It all works out. By forcefully gluing science and religion together, you successfully dodged a bullet. Next semester you take a world history course. You learn that your the specific denomination of the specific branch of your religion, narrow as it may be, was not always the correct one. Nope, it is simply a product of evolution and maybe a great schism here and there.
AFTERLIFE Just kidding, Im not. I’ll be a little more sensitive about belief in an afterlife, since its impossible to know what EXACTLY you go through when you die. I will first address the lucky people who have died and been revived. Almost all of them see a bright light at the end of a tunnel, most of them see their family/loved ones, important landmarks in their life, and some even see God. The closer you get to the bright light (the less oxygen getting to your brain), the further you drift away from consciousness. And then all of a sudden you are back, with an amazing, inspiring, and true story to share with the world. Ever heard of the DMT? Its a naturally occurring substance found in many plants, and most mammals. It can also be synthesized in labs, and sold on the streets to people who like to trip balls. When you die, or get close to death, you are simply hallucinating from the DMT produced . I dunno about you, but I find it comforting to know that just before my brain flickers for the last time, I will be tripping balls. What irritates me most about belief in an afterlife is how people who have had near death experiences call their stories “proof that god exists and of an afterlife.” How dumb are you? They're just brain waves/signals. That’s like saying that everything you encounter on your acid trip actually happened. I’m sorry, but your perspective does not = reality. Some people just don’t get that. (In fact, I would even go as far as saying that “reality” is invisible to the human eye. I mean cmon, our eyes can only detect a small fraction of the electromagnetic spectrum. There is so much we are are not seeing!) Also, I dismiss the concept of life after death because its just so ignorant. Most denominations assume that they are the lucky ones that get to go to heaven, and everyone else gets to spend eternity in a fire pit (btw, what kind of fatherly figure would do such a thing?). Out of all the different religions, what are the odds that you are right and everyone else is wrong? I’m afraid its not looking very good for anyone. If everything I have just said about an afterlife is not news to you, yet you still choose to believe, then I’m happy for you. I’m not being sarcastic. God is just one more resource to turn to during those darker times, like family or close friends. While I perceive the voice of God to be everyone’s subconscious, steering us in the right moral direction, you perceive him to be an all-knowing, all-mighty, and loving father-like figure. As long as you leave it at that, I encourage you to keep on keeping on. Do what makes you happy, as long as what makes you happy doesn’t involve killing people who don’t agree with you. After all, belief in a higher power doesn’t exist for no reason, and it didn’t come to be for no reason. If it were just some arbitrary code of behavior, I don’t think it would even be around in the first place. I perceive it to be just another product of our (seemingly) sophisticated cognitive abilities, risen from tens of thousands of years of human evolution. It has been developing along side us the entire time. Thats my take on the whole thing.
INTELLIGENT DESIGN Still not done bashing your beliefs. Some of you have managed to find a middle ground between believing in God, and not believing in God. No particular religion is involved, but they still cling on to the whole ‘higher power’ bit. They look at nature’s complex precesses (the double helix shape of DNA, complex molecules, formation of galaxies, etc) and figure that someone has to be behind it all. Isn’t it odd that as time goes by and we make new discoveries, our own view of ourselves gets diminished exponentially? First it was that the planets, stars, moon and sun don’t revolve around us, but we revolve around the sun. Then it was that we are sitting on just 1 of 8(9) planets that revolve around the sun. Then it was that we are part of just 1 of many solar systems. Now, we believe that we sit on a rock that orbits a star that orbits a galaxy that is still just one of many. That pattern persists. My interpretation of all this is that the world does not exist for us to exploit, like we once thought. Rather, we exist for the universe to exploit. Btw, the reason I believe that we are sitting on a rock in the middle of a cold, calculating universe is because it is supported by controlled experiments, observations, the scientific method, and it is consistent. Its not much, but its something to go by. Religion has nothing on science.
PETA Let me get this straight... Its wrong for me to consume animals, but its ok for animals to eat other animals?
PRO-LIFE Yeah, its murder. No, I don’t care.
FEMINISTS You demand rights which you already have, and you reinforce the implied social norms that counter what you preach. The fact that men make bigger salaries than you do is because most of you are mothers, not because your unequal.
99%ERS If you spent the amount of time actually looking for a job that you spend occupying your local herp derpery, you would all be employed by now. But no, instead you sit on your ass holding up a sign with a catchy phrase that you don’t even understand, while you wait for a wad of cash to magically appear in your pocket. What a drain on society you guys are! Stop blaming the government for the poor financial choices you’ve made and get it together. Also stop blaming hard-working people for making more money than you do. It’s your own damn fault. If this is your way of dragging everyone else down with you, you are losing because nobody gives a shit. Also, if you really do want to change the way things are run around hear, the absolute least you could be doing is coming up with a common cause. Right now you only have one thing in common: you are all a bunch of fat pigs.
SO-CALLED “MINORITIES” The sooner you stop labeling yourselves and sub/categorizing everyone else, the sooner everyone else will forget about your sexual orientation or what color your skin is. Want to get fully integrated into Indian society? Stop messing around and drawing attention to yourselves! Its really annoying.
MYSELF, for writing this whole thing. I definitely could be doing something more productive right now. I’ve finally come to the end of my pointless little rant about how I’m right and everyone else is wrong. It was a HUGE waste of time, but god damn it felt good. What should I do next? Count how many times I’ve contradicted myself?
Hopefully that last sentence I just said will rescue me from feeling too stupid. Also, what was the purpose of this, you ask? There wasn’t one. However, by typing this out I have successfully not studied for finals, and by reading this you have successfully wasted 5-10 minutes of your life. Once again, if your offended by anything I just said, idgaf. But if you agree with it, hit me up so we can hang out some time.