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A rant about the word 'of' replacing 'have'




I can't fu***ng stand it anymore. I don't know if it's just me, but the frequency of people replacing the word 'have' (sometimes contracted 've) with the word 'of' seems to be increasing every day.

For some reason I find this infuriating. Even more so than other grammatical errors. It's not just a spelling mistake. IT'S THE WRONG FU***NG WORD.

Sure, you could argue that phonetically they can sound very similar or even identical when 'have' is contracted to 've. That's no excuse. In my mind, whenever I'm writing my thoughts become words and then the words are signaled down to my hands where I write them onto paper; or more commonly type them out onto a keyboard or into my phone. There shouldn't be an error somewhere between interpreting what words your thoughts have constructed and how they sound.

The worst part about this mistake is not only is it becoming increasingly common, but people just accept it and continue to go on acting like nothing is wrong. Complacency in the face of disrespect for the English language.

I may not be the most articulate person. In fact, I'm sure someone could find plenty of grammatical errors in this post alone. But I believe there is a standard to be upheld, lest the pillars of written language be torn from us by the careless and the complacent.

Would you sit idly as are words beak um in dusting wishable? Do you see how ridiculous this is?

Please. Linguists, brothers in pens. Join this worthy cause. Don't succumb to this infection. This festering wound on the flesh of our written word. Purge the world of this sickness. Be a beacon of light in these dark times and we may see the light of literacy. Raise your phones, your keyboards, your tablets! Fight the good fight. Together we can win this battle, but you must rally with me.


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