Universal Truths
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
Bad decisions make good stories.
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?